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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26763796">Broken Promises, They Won't Be Coming Home</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlotte_Lancer/pseuds/Charlotte_Lancer'>Charlotte_Lancer</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sheppard/Holland fics [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stargate Atlantis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Canonical Character Death, Coming Out, Don't Ask Don't Tell, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings, Friendship, Gen, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Not Beta Read, Sort Of, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Talking</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 02:53:26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,008</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26763796</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charlotte_Lancer/pseuds/Charlotte_Lancer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In the Pegasus Galaxy, soulmarks are a celebrated occurrence, held in high regard by most cultures and displayed prominently and clearly. As such, the sight of a soulmark carefully and methodically covered at all times raises a few questions.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lyle Holland/John Sheppard, Teyla Emmagan &amp; John Sheppard</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Sheppard/Holland fics [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1965952</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Broken Promises, They Won't Be Coming Home</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This was originally supposed to be an entirely different story, but then Sabaton's Cliffs Of Gallipoli came on (aka where the title came from) and this happened instead. Hope you like angst!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>On Earth, it wasn’t uncommon to hide a soul mark. Plenty of people considered them private affairs, and it wasn’t unusual to not know what name resided on the arms of even your closest friends. No one had ever asked Sheppard why he kept his covered; almost no one would have even given it a second thought.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In Pegasus, however, this is decidedly not the case. On every single planet they go to, every person they meet has their name displayed for all to see. Some planets hold the marks in high regard, highlighting the names with wide bracelets carved out of transparent gemstones on one planet, and with tattoos and swaths of bright paints on others. Other planets treat them as an unremarkable fact of life; marks are uncovered but unadorned- sometimes a particularly long sleeve might even brush at the edge of the mark, but never quite enough to hide it’s meaning-, looked upon no differently than a birthmark would be on Earth. Gray marks, gold marks, even scarred marks, all bared to the galaxy at large.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After a few months in the Pegasus galaxy, many of the expedition members who had hidden their marks on Earth have started to wear them openly, and soon enough Sheppard is one of the only people to both regularly go off-world and still keep the mark consistently covered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s a few days after McKay- one of the last holdouts among the scientists- gives up on covering his mark that someone finally asks Sheppard about his own.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s after a private sparring session that Teyla brings up the subject. They’re packing their bags when she turns to him and says,</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are there many different customs on Earth regarding the mark? I cannot help but notice that many of your people choose not to display theirs.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“One of the anthropologists could probably tell you more, but yeah, they’re kind of a divisive thing on Earth. Some people like to show them, some don’t.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And you are among those who do not.” It’s not a question, just an acknowledgement, but for some reason Sheppard still feels like he owes her an explanation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I, well, it’s complicated. I don’t have anything against people showing them in general, but having certain types of names can get you into trouble in some places, especially in the military.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nods “I can see how having a name common among the enemy may be an issue.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That, too. But even if it’s not that, there can be other problems.” He pauses, and takes a deep breath. “I don’t know if anyone went over the finer points of US military conduct regulations with you, but there’s rules about who you can and can’t have relationships with. No one in your chain of command, for one. And no one of the same sex. They’re pretty strict about that one.” He watches her reaction, waiting for any sign of- something, he doesn’t even know what to expect at this point, he still technically hasn’t even come out to her yet, but after years of trying not to do exactly that, his nerves are on edge even saying just this much.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He can tell the exact moment she gets it, understands what he’s hinting at without him having to actually say it. A sympathetic expression appears on her face, and she looks down at the wristband covering his mark.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your soulmate is another man.” He nods, not quite meeting her eyes, and she lays a hand on his shoulder before she continues. “I am sorry you cannot be with him. Among my people we do not have any such restriction; should you choose to display your mark among them, you would not receive any judgement.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He thinks about it for a moment, thinks about leaving his wristband in the jumper next time their team is invited to the Athosian settlement, about walking around freely with Holland’s name uncovered, no one giving it a second thought or a dirty look. He brings his other hand up to his wrist, absently running his thumb under the edge of the band. Holland would have loved the Pegasus Galaxy, would have loved the Athosians. Sheppard can’t help but imagine how it would have gone, wishes he could have seen it, Holland handing out candies and treats to the children of Pegasus the same way he did in Afghanistan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lyle Holland,” he finally says, touching the wristband as he speaks. “I think you two would have gotten along well.” It was rare to find anyone that Holland </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> get along with well, from superiors to subordinates and everyone in between.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Perhaps when you regain contact with your world you will introduce us.” There’s a smile on Teyla’s face as she speaks, a confident optimism in her words- that they </span>
  <em>
    <span>will </span>
  </em>
  <span>find a way to contact Earth, that no doubts are necessary or justified.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s only through practice that his breath doesn’t hitch as he speaks words he hates to even think. “I wish I could. He- I-” He swallows hard, and pulls down the wristband as he says, “Holland died before we came here.” Once he starts telling her he can’t seem to stop himself; they drift down onto the floor, sitting close together, and he tells her about Holland, about how they met, about who he was, about Afghanistan and wars a galaxy away, and kidnappings and enemy lines and failed rescue missions. He talks until his voice is hoarse, and the dampness on his face isn’t sweat anymore, and he tells her things he’s never told anyone else, things that no one else can or will ever know, and when he’s done she presses her head against his, and takes his hands in hers, and they sit together in a silence that’s somehow more comforting than any words have ever been, peaceful beyond what words could even be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That night he sleeps without the wristband on for the first time in years, and dreams of the day where he leaves it off for good.</span>
</p>
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